Soca Brunch 2023
This Carnival Sunday we hit up Soca Brunch all-inclusive held at U-Pick in Chaguaramas. For the uninitiated, U-Pick is located on Tucker Valley Road (read that as Macqueripe Road) before Samaan Park. This was my first time at this fete but from all accounts it was supposed to be excellent.
The fete was scheduled from 2pm to 8pm but there was some confusion with the published times. The ticket said it started 12pm while the website where you purchased them said 2pm and the flyer on the same site said 1pm. We arrived promptly at 3pm because that is what you do in an all-inclusive. You get there early, fill your belly before the lines get long and then you tack back for snacks all during the night.
The food was on point with all kinds of options for those who eat dead flesh and also for those who actually care about nature. There were food stations that had chicken and waffles, curry goat and rice, bake and shark, sushi, various baos, fried corn bread and much much more. There was so much food there was an emailed menu inno garçon. I had two servings of the fish and two sides (I chose cucumber chow and macaroni salad), as well as a couple servings of the tandoori fish tacos.
In terms of drinks, the options were almost as good. There were drinks stations from Jose Cuervo, Tanqueray, Angostura rum, Jameson among others and of course a bubbly bar. Naturally, the biggest crowd was at the bubbly bar because, well, Corbeaux eating sponge cake nah. When "country come to town" the champagne bar is the first stop.
On the dance floor there was a crew with a huge Bermuda flag led by a big belly man that decided this fete was their own. Big man was bareback before the rest of crowd even had time to belch and digest their food.
Not even the torrential rain showers that descended on the fete could dampen their vibe. Big belly man was determined to have a time. While people were sheltering at drinks tents or bamboo patches the Bermuda crew were living out the lyrics of Bunji's "Umbrella" song:
"Caribbean people, will fall down in a drain,
End up in a cast, party through the pain,
Go down to the last, so if the weather change,
We will party all in the rain,
Put up yuh hands like umbrella (woo), umbrella, umbrella"
I welcomed the rain because I was hoping it cooled down the place. The venue was hot like we were in the deepest folds of the armpit one of them ladies selling national lottery. However, even after the rains ended I noticed there was an unusual amount of hand fans present like I was at the annual meeting of the TTTA (Trinidad and Tobago Tanties Association) but it turned out that Angostura attempted to cool down the fete by distributing one hand fan at a time. Thanks Angostura.
The DJs started off well enough with Milo Myles from New York trying his best to warm up the crowd. To his credit he got people to come forth onto the dance floor and even coaxed a couple into a "bruck out" session that would make the Tobago "village ram" and his weirdly shaped muse blush. At one point I was clutching my figurative pearls.
However, the music went downhill from there. I don't like to name names but the DJ group "Artist Team" is real ballz. I'm sure I woulda hear more current music at Moses "40th day in the wilderness" fete or Imhotep's mummification bashment.
Then it was another DJ and this dude Hans, who came on wearing a double breasted jacket, shorts and a multicolored scarf looking like a BWee flight attendant. To be fair, he started off like a bake with one setta old music but ended up sprinkling in some good 2023 music. However, he just couldn't help himself and ended up subjecting us to a frigging hip hop session inno.
Again, at a Carnival fete, in 2023, where the race for the Road March is tighter than a Jack Spaniard's anus, these DJs played the main contenders once for the entire fete. Study, artistes killing themselves to make proper songs every year only to have these jokers play KMC and Destra Road March tunes from when Adam was a student at Garden of Eden Government Primary. Then these imps go claim to be fans of soca music. I give up yes.
Anyway, Soca Brunch was a decent fete despite the best efforts of the DJs to bring it down. People enjoyed themselves even while they were struggling from attending Soaka Street and other fetes earlier in the day. I'm sure the only thing people who attended Vale Vibe Breakfast Party were tired from was the incessant talking from the DJ "she who shall not be named".....but is really Alicia the Talkest.
Up next: Bliss Carnival...oooh boy, lemme get some sleep yes.
TANA