PINKnicTT 2024
The party was located on Fatima grounds. Off the bat they start off shakey with the ticket indicating a 2pm start while the flyer online said 3pm. Didn't matter because one of our 'operatives' told us not to rush down there because everything was running an hour late.
When we finally got down there it was madness with parking. The flyer said parking was at Mucurapo East Secondary but on the actual road there was a sign by the Jamaat that said Mucurapo West Secondary. Both schools locked their gates and told patrons to "rock so". Everyone ended up having to find street parking. So much for ultra-premium all-inclusive.
The entrance was the most complicated I've ever seen. About 10 different lanes, each based on the type of ticket package you purchased. This fete had more package options than UPS. Package like Benjai performing in a joggers. Apparently all the free stuff they gave out last year they added to packages and charged people for this year.
When you finally got in there was a line to get branded cups. I mean why not just hand out cups as soon as people walk in, like normal sane parties? Imagine we bought regular early bird tickets and got fancy cups while people bought more expensive packages later and got no cups. That real for-cup.
The decor was excellent. Near the entrance there was a glass floor with pink roses underneath. There was the usual premium drink stations, cigar booth and a condom stand located conveniently next to the Summer's Eve station (make of that what you will).
The ladies were on point in their pink outfits. Plenty of them looked like they were going to some regatta gala with Rachel Green or their 35th form five graduation. The fellas were much more casual with some men looking like they were by Charlie's on the Avenue and heard it had a fete on Fatima grounds.
Watch me...after seeing the menu online I went there with meh belly in meh hand, with the tank empty and gas light on. My mantra for all-inclusive is "better belly buss than good food waste". Well bai...I shoulda eat something at home because the food court was pure failure. If you see lines, swear it was Whitney Houston coffee table.
Worse yet the tea plate portions wasn't doing it for me. Around my mouth done white with hunger and you go give me six piece of pasta and a baby salmon. Have me watching the lady like Oliver Twist "please ma'am, may I have some more". I bite into a bake and something impersonating shark and the thing ain't move, like it wanted to bite me back. After I fling that nonsense in the bin, I decided the only way to enjoy this fete was to hit the bar to get well and proper 'sauced'.
However, the bars were more failure. It started off great in the early part of the fete with easy access and bartenders with heavy drink hands. As the crowd thickened it was way too much for the 5 bartenders in each of the bars. It was like KFC Independence Square after UWI night in Coconuts. The only thing missing was people cussing up the staff and them staring back with the cold dead eyes of a great white shark or a Pennywise gal. Fortunately I got great service at the Tanqueray Station which was situated ominously between the Jägermeister and Don Julio tequila shots stations.
Listen, this party was like the twilight zone. The heat was unbearable, with people sweating like we partying underneath the left boob of the lady selling National Lottery walking through 'tong'. Women walking around fanning themselves with hand fans they gave out looking like Scarlett O'Hara..."I do declare Mr Beauregard".
Imagine they gave out picnic blankets with the "packages" and it had mad people sitting on them in the crowd in front the stage like they at a lunch rest stop on Carnival Monday. You know how much gal must be get kicked in they head by certain people delirious with hunger and inebriated on gin.
We were treated to performances by GBM Nutron, Farmer Nappy, Kerwin Dubois, Shal Marshall, Olatunji, Voice, Vaughn, Mical Teja, Waddicks (who perform one tune for 10 mins) and my celeb crush Nadia. Everyone sang like two or three tunes and run off. I'm not sure if it was the gin and tequila but I swear Nadie say "TANA if yuh looking for sweetness to put inside a basket, I am the whole, the whole blinkin market".
Mical Teja came on accompanied by fireworks. I would never understand why promoters choose to spend money on irrelevant props rather than important things like say more food and proper secured parking.
Despite the bollocks logistics the fete was vibes. People were jamming in front the stage, on the side, in the back, in the drink stations, everywhere. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I couldn't look in any direction and not see a hot gal or see people looking sour. I almost didn't feel like fighting with the moko jumbies or attacking the man in the low budget transformer costume, looking like a foreign-used Autobot.
The DJs at the end tried to run us with vintage soca but not this crowd. People started to jam even more. Audrey!! Eh heh...Black man feeling to party...oh ho! Jam jam jam.
PINKnicTT have to make some serious changes to use that ultra-premium all-inclusive title. I'll definitely give them another go next year but next time I go eat a salad or cheese pie home first.
TANA