Farm House 2024
Traffic was stink to get to the Chaguaramas boardwalk where the fete was located. The fete was scheduled to go from 4pm - 11pm. At the entrance they had the same metal stairs death trap as last year. It's a good thing I didn't pre-pump with gin in the car....or me, the cooler and both security woulda tumble into the sea.
Speaking of, the gale force winds coming off the ocean as we entered almost blew over a young lady. She hair end up all in meh mouth, not that I mind usually, but I like to be in control of who hair products I consume.
The layout was changed back to how it was the first year we went with the stage on the side with the road. What remained the same was that the whole of Brooklyn was in the fete. You could tell because they all sweaty by 7pm.
The crowd was thick and saucy like them two chicks liming in front of us. The two of them looked strong in their cyat-suits like WWE Tag Team Champions. I woulda definitely let them pin me and hit me a leg drop from the top rope.
Patrick the Hypeman kept saying it was his birthday but I heard he said the same thing in Pon d Grass...like Patrick have the same amount of birth nights like Dr Hyde. Patrick is definitely getting better though. He still played old tunes but mixed it well with new soca. Not like the other DJ who seemed like his 'Hans' were stuck in a time capsule. Like he and early 2000s Machel pitch marbles together.
Mical Teja was the first to perform and he had the foreigners almost in tears with his 'Runaway' hit. If you see how all them Laurens start to fling bumsee. Mical looked surprised and started asking who drinking what. When he asked who drinking Campari someone shouted they rather drink the sea water from where they bathe the horses...ok that was me but it's still a valid comment.
Of all the female performers Farm House could bring they brought Nailah Blackman. Miss lady run on in some kinda feathered top looking like a chicken with mange. To be fair she did have the crowd moving but she's no Nadia. Oh gosh...how much times he go talk bout Nadia.....well, until one of allyuh get her to gimme a lil shout out and fling some sweat on meh in a fete.
There was free doubles at the front of the fete and a small food court section with food on sale in the back. There was wantons, the usual fried meat with deep fried potatoes, bake and shark and even tacos, though the taco place looked suspiciously empty. I kept moving because the last thing Tana needs is a Mexican food wuk belly in them Porta Potty.
Farm House is a fete you have to work hard to build a vibes. Some lovely ladies in front the stage stopped me and told me they love this page. They looked like they were in a different party. I wished I was in that fete with them yes.
For me the party was ok but it definitely had people who looked like they regretted slipping that Valium into their wife Milo to sneak out. Not me though, I would never do that....again.
After Nailah, the DJ who shall remain nameless, the butcher of good mixes, came on at the end to send people home. The mass exodus was like when they turn on the lights in Club Coconuts and the cleaner sweeping the dance floor. All that was missing was the Bob Marley session followed by Kitchener's greatest hits.
All in all Farm House was just dey for me. It wasn't garbage bag juice but it wasn't anything to write about...yes I see the irony. There were lots of people and many familiar faces but large parts of the fete felt like one big pavent lime outside Cookin Vibez.
I may have to find another party to hit next year on Carnival Thursday but not that other "House" party though. I heard that party need a lil Bravo tuition scholarship to redevelop its own vibes too.
Up next PINKnic tomorrow...unless allyuh have somewhere for me to go later after I pick up J'Ouvert packages.
TANA