MAD J’Ouvert 2024
After my shenanigans at Soca Brunch, if it wasn't for the misses I woulda get a full night's sleep and miss J'Ouvert, seeing as I set my alarm for 1am....Tuesday morning. Thanks to TTPS we didn't reach the designated parking area until 4:15am.
Everyone knows that every J'Ouvert morning there are road blocks heading into town. If you're a criminal and get ketch with ting in a J'Ouvert morning road block, it's better you give up your life of crime because you ain't no mastermind.
Parking for MAD was in the Hasley Crawford Stadium. The security at the stadium entrance like he was going MAD, talking bout we need a pass to park dey and want to play ranking ting with me. I said "watch meh...you ain't Blaxx homie" (well I thought it). After his more level headed supervisor told us where to park it was off to find the band, which in very un-Trini like fashion, left around the time they said they would, 3:30am ish.
We were cutting through side streets in the back of St James trying to avoid all the other bands. We turned down one street and I said to myself, watch how you going to get robbed this morning bai. Luckily we weren't alone in our quest. There were quite a few masqueraders in their costumes following us.
Hear nah, MAD do it different for this J'Ouvert. Instead of the regular juhzy and cup, the package included a sleeveless zip-up kinda windbreaker, headband, fanny pack, sunglasses with lights, wigs with lights (blue for man, pink for gyal, either one if you identify differently). You had a choice of two types of cups, a band with a chit for breakfast served all morning long (doubles, coconut bake and saltfish and other items), condoms, coffee, and a bazillion snacks....yuh swear is one of them giant mixed snacks bag from the grocery.
We finally bounced up the band near the end of St James after passing the various characters in d James. Yo...it had men in st James smelling like it was J'Ouvert evening. I was like nah...them couldn't be smelling so this hour of the morning.
I bounced up we gyal Nikki Crosby looking sauced refilling by the drinks truck. According to her she had on her tequila face. I hug she up and squeeze she like she was a "end" of toothpaste.
At first we were following music truck #1 but they were playing too much old soca so we decided to go by truck #2 which had all the vibes. I looked up in the music truck and who did I see as the mic man....Hans Des Vignes. Watch meh I does give jack he jacket and Jim he gym boots. Whole season Hans swing on my nuts playing too much old soca but yuh see this morning, Lord fadda...he bring it. Man was on fire. If he play so all the time I would stop washing my mouth on him.
MAD had paint, mud, powder and real real vibes. Had no kinda convent gal two step chip stooshness. At one point masqueraders moved to the side to allow another band to pass and one young lady stood in front of me and start to fling back bumsee on me like it was her job. As a man of proper broughtupsy I found it rude to object but she had to ride out when she bounced the misses.
I'm disappointed in MAD security. Whole morning people assaulted me with mud, paint and powder and they did nothing. I asked one security for help to lock up my wife for hitting me in my face with purple powder but she conveniently didn't see anything.
I found Nikki again near Roxy roundabout and was able to take a proper picture with her after she managed to un-rumfle her face (love you Nikki). I like she husband vibe inno, real calm, not like my wife husband.
At some stage I found a man riding a Punchy Punch bicycle cart. I can only speculate as to what transpired but it involved me consuming that MAD elixir from some type of hose. It multiplied my J'Ouvert powers ten fold. I can still feel it coursing through the back of my eyeballs.
On the final stretch back to the stadium we bounced up a stretch of foam on Maraval Parkway (road behind Compre and that school with the ok all-inclusive fete). There were people on the road doing snow angels in the foam inno. Allyuh see how Covid does spread...or at least parvo.
Gyal doing snow angels in the foam on the people road
The band made its way to the Socadrome stage to take a lil jump. Hans out do himself here again. He hit we the ole DJ bait and switch. Pump we up with DNA on the approach and mash we up with Carnival Contract on the actual stage. He pull up the tune till Bunji get hoarse.
In summary.... MAD was lit, I was lit, Nikki was lit, the people in Massy Stores Westmoorings weren't lit when we walked in covered in mud and paint to buy out the bakery.
And just like that Carnival 2024 is over for me (unless I ketch a vibes and do a pavent pump in the morrow). I'll do a wrap-up post at some point but till then allyuh stay safe and sign allyuh TANA Carnival Contract next year again eh.
TANA