LIME Easy 2024
Well bai...the company cooler fete was amazeballs. This was my first year attending as I have a strict policy of avoiding all events which could give the impression that I like working there.
The fete was at Government Campus and parking was at the Parkade. Yeah...I ain't no fan of the Parkade. The elevators work less than a cashier at licensing office and there was one time I ended up face to face with a vagrant in the stairwell. I think my screams startled both of us.
The fete was subdued when I arrived. So much so I thought I was in a board meeting or a really exciting "ideation" session. Super Grover...sorry...Sonny Bling tried his best to hype up the ting. He even came down in the crowd to get these people to stop "Live Easy" and start party hard.
I took the opportunity to head to the "food court" and lay down a proper drinking foundation. Yes meh lord....for $125 for staff and $225 for friends and family we got free bake and shark, doubles, corn soup and even chasers. The one catch, there was a chit system so people couldn't get drunk and take bags of doubles home for their Mrs....or Mr.....depending on which team you play for...we doh judge. Someone asked how the bake and shark tasted and my response was it tasted "free". It was no Natalie's or Uncle Sam's.
The HR "team building" atmosphere continued until the performances started. Mical Teja was up first followed by Olatunji and then Problem Child. Yeah...I ain't have much to say bout them fellas as I've seen them so many times now I could go on stage and "run in town again", "Invent party" and tell my boss I not wukking today. Well...not that last one....I feel my boss does cuss more than Problem boss.
So I don't know who tell them people from a next department that it was a good idea to give me a Jägermeister shot but it was all downhill from there. Jager is vomit in a bottle. It's what Campari goes to university to become.
Jager and gin don't pair well, or maybe they pair very well depending on your view. After that shot my inhibitions switched its Teams status to "offline". Tings were jamming me and I was less than "corporate" about it. When my girl Nadia Batson came on stage I was right in front to catch them fruits in my basket. I feel she make me out inno...she watch me straight in my eyes and sing that "every time I take a drink, I feel like wining" with a lil extra sweetness....although it coulda be the Jägermeister.
Patrice was up next and while her performance was excellent as usual, she just didn't hit the same spot in my jeans as Nadie. Patrice voice is ridiculously powerful and clean though. Kinda like my reputation at work...ahahaha I couldn't even write that with a straight face.
In my inebriated state I had the presence of mind to beg a ride home from a padna but when we got to his parking spot, there was a whole different car there. A friendly officer told us where his "work friends" usually carry cars that are wrongfully parked. I don't know what happened, if my homie just jumped in his wrecked vehicle and drove off, but in less than 5 minutes he picked us up in his vehicle.
On the way to drop people home in Carenage and various parts of Diego them fellas managed to inveigle me to go JAM Nation on Sunday morning. So yeah...as my moms used to say, "friends will carry yuh...."
Lime Easy...it take allyuh a while to warm up but the lime end up hard like banga seed. TTMF still have the championship belt though.
TANA