Fete Royal (QRC) 2024
So we attended QRC's premium all-inclusive carnival fete on the school compound, which is interestingly located obliquely opposite Samaan Estate, which as you should recall was not allowed to have a fete the other day because of an injunction due to noise complaints by the residents...who doh like fun.
Somehow I have gotten the reputation as an ambassador for Fete With The Saints, because every time I roll up in other school fetes people keep asking me what I'm doing there and telling me I in the wrong fete. Wham...my money not good or wah? Is Guyanese dollars I spending or wah?
When I arrived I thought I was late and was horrified thinking artistes were already on stage performing. Less so when I realized it was just Dil-E-Nadan. Raymond and he team are bosses...they even found Erphaan Alves. If they could find Shurwayne Winchester I'd be truly impressed.
It's been eons since my last QRC outing but the layout was impressive. There were stations from the usual premium drink brands, one of those booths where you can do boomerangs of yourself with the people man, a champagne bar, a cigar booth and even food trucks.
The food court itself was less impressive. On the plus side it was very spacious and there were many options including a whole section for desserts. The reason I can't go into more detail about the food is because there were no signs. Yuh either had to be Charles Xavier and read the servers mind or have the whole "what's this? Ehh...wah yuh say?" conversation over the food everyone had to eat.
To make matters worse, the servers were rationing the food, I swore it was one of them Chinee food places handing out samples in the mall. I literally get 2 phoulourie doh mind they were like 2 big-oonks...at least they were bigger than the 2 suffering potato wedges I got.
The sushi man was angry angry. When we asked for more than the 3 pieces if you see the look on sadis face, we were like "sorry boss, we didn't realize we were taking away from your lunch for tomorrow." The way soldier was acting the wife almost pull out she Mastercard. For the swine lovers there was a whole tent of hog for allyuh. I does only eat live hog but that's a topic for a different forum.
Imagine my horror and disgust when the MC Sonny Bling introduced the Campari of DJs,
Alicia the Duchess. The only thing she's the Duchess of is the Kingdom of Talk. I stopped going certain fetes because she feel she in Parliament.
The first of the big artistes was my girl Nadia Batson. Hear nah, I done tell my wife if Nadie smile and wink at me is problems inno. First time in my life I run up to the front of the stage, I was so close Nadie coulda sweat on meh. I immediately moved back when hairy under arms Adam O came on wearing a jacket (thankfully) and a tight white pants that had me feeling like I was in a Law and Order SVU episode.
Suddenly I heard a loud stomping noise behind me as if there was a fight in the crowd. As I spun around in full Carlitos Colon, Caribbean Championship Wrestling mode, it was these blasted Moko jumbie menaces in the crowd. Hear nah, I almost leggo a skate tackle on them inno.
Mical Teja came next to run in town again. The place was pandemonium. Near the end of his performance Sonny Bling joined him on stage dancing and looking like Super Grover. "Come on Grover....dance!"...."perhaps later".
Kes the Band was next in the lineup. Kees was rocking an overalls looking outfit like he's the maintenance manager for QRC...I swear he came to give an HSE briefing. The only man more hype than Kees is he DJ. Big man jump and wine all up in front the stage with he red beret. All the man needs is his own soca song.
However, when the real "big man in the business" hit the stage to sing his part of Stage Gone Bad it was level mayhem. I almost passed out when he started singing "hand in d air lemme see".
For the first time in a long time Fay-Ann Lyons didn't overpower Bunji Garlin. The duet felt balanced, well coordinated and powerful. Doh tell nobody I said this but I enjoyed Fay-Ann performance (hush yuh mouth Tana). People sleeping on Bunji's 'Carnival Contract' but that tune have potential to be a monster.
I asked the wife for feedback on Problem Child's performance and all she could talk about was his bedazzled belt and how long it might take for someone to take it off. Steups.
It felt as though Bunji and Fay-Ann were rushed when they should have been the headline act. Maybe Kees set shoulda been shorter. He coulda just sing his 2024 tune, Savannah Grass, get bare back and bring on Iwer. The pan session at the end wasn't necessary either but then again I doh like pan (and wah...come at me).
All in all Fete Royal was a decent effort. It's no Fete With The Saints when it comes to decor, drinks and food but it WIN in the vibes department. It has the potential to become an ultra-premium all-inclusive with the right changes. Allyuh link meh for pointers.....I starting my fete consultancy...as soon as I sober up.
TANA