JAM Nation 2023…Oh Emm Gee
If I had to describe JAM Nation in one word it would be "tut-tuts"....but let me start with the back story of how I ended up there in the first place.
My wife, God bless her, overheard one of our friends saying he and his crew was making a married men lime to head to JAM Nation and miss lady jump up "so whappen, why my husband wasn't invited?!" Within minutes one of our socialite friends whipped out her phone and two whatsapp messages later I had a Specially Invited Guest ticket on my phone. Boom bang!
Surprisingly there was no traffic heading down on the western peninsula. We arrived outside O2 Park at 3:45am and the crowd was buzzing. It was only when I saw the waterproof cases on sale that I remembered JAM Nation is a water and powder fete. I made the choice to see just how much water my new Samsung could tolerate, hopefully it wasn't a "Samsingh".
As we were about to enter the security said to us ominously "let me burst allyuh bubble right now" and proceeded to make us throw our two unopened bags of ice on top a mound of what looked like an ice bag graveyard. Apparently you had to buy ice inside. So after paying $20 for two bags of ice in the gas station, JAM Nation make us pay $40 for one bag inside.
That highway robbery still didn't kill we vibe. In fact it made us more determined to "win them". So we moved through the crowd and decided to setup strategically next to what turned out to be the main protagonist of the fete, the foam pool!!!
At 6am the fete "officially" kicked off with the playing of the national anthem. People young an old stood at attention with some even singing along. I eh go lie, it was an auspicious start to what turned out to be a wonderfully scandalous level of unbridled debauchery.
Hear nah, with the amount of ladies of all shapes and sizes wearing netted tights and pasties the fete was clearly sponsored by Wonderful World. There was one young lady in a black netted dress who didn't even bother with the pasties. That image is forever burned on my retinas.
When the water was turned on the foam pool came to life. If you see madness. If you see jam was pelting, jam nation indeed. Men and women were rolling around in the foam, one man was on his stomach doing his best impression of the man who was swimming in the drain in Port of Spain some years ago (allyuh remember that?). I tried to resist going in but my mantra is water = vibes, especially when the foam pool was packed with level birds.
The amount of thick long gold chain with pendants bigger than men head on display it was no surprise that Trinidad Killa walked onto the stage and sent the crowd wild. There were plenty women there that were singing that "Gun Man in She Hole" song a little too enthusiastically.
Tempa came on stage with her back pack again. I mean somebody really couldn't hold on to her change of clothes bai. I really want to know what she have in that bag yuh know. If she anything like my wife it's probably tissue, lip gloss and enough gum to blow a bubble the size of the surveillance Blimp we used to have.
Of course it had the usual few people that overdo the enjoyment. One young lady was totalled before the sun even came up. Another gentleman looked like he was the one who buss the Guinness bar in Fatima.
When the fete finished we had to trod back in the hot sun to the car which was inconveniently parked at the Chaguaramas Convention Center. However, that gave me time to walk off some of the gin before I passed out in the back seat like a bake.
From what I witnessed and was told, JAM Nation is more like an urban version of Soaka...I loved it! I had a time, I feel I will be back....
"I not going no more stush fete let me extend my apologies,
Only ghetto fete with big flag, foam pool and pasties"
Brrrt!
TANA