BLISS Carnival Tuesday 2023
Tuesday started off with worries, problems, trials and tribulations. First off, while Bliss costume collection was seamless for us, the costumes themselves were flimsy and the sizing erratic. I had to use my years of wire bending skills to fix a costume that looked like it was designed by the person that did the SBCS building.
I can't tell you how crossing the Socadrome was because thanks to water issues we didn't leave home until 11am. People in my neighborhood play fast and loose with WASA mains and plumbing. Anyway, that's an Ash Wednesday problem (yes we bathe before we hit the road, we're not savages).
By the time we got to QRC parking was full so we drove around St Clair looking for safe, close parking. Let me tell you, if you end up in this position you might be S.O.O.L. (S*** Out Of Luck). Fortunately, we have a close friend living nearby willing to drop us and keep the car. Thanks G.
We arrived near the Oval close to noon and at this point we had two choices, hustle down to Ariapita Avenue to find the band, get some gin and jam a few bumpers or head to the rest stop for an early lunch. Someone (the wife) decided that bumcees could wait.
Lunch was largely uneventful, unless you count the man dressed like Xerxes from the movie 300 complete with chains and gold jockey shorts. In fact the band had a number of dudes playing in individual costumes that were more resplendent than the women...or so I'm told.
For lunch the lasagna didn't disappoint, however, the other lunches were a lottery. You had no idea exactly what you were getting. Some people were hopping mad that for all that money the barbecue chicken meal looked like a hummingbird breast and wing with dog rice.
I must say kudos to the Bliss medical people for patching up our friend's busted bunion. Kudos also to her for making it all the way to las lap without even complaining once. Unlike the big hairy back men I saw crying for their mommys because of the heat and distances walked.
When the band left the Oval it proceeded west through St James. The DJ jumped down into the crowd and was completely unaware of how close he was to mysteriously getting a hard "calpit" (clout, slap, bellas).....and you call yourself an Assassin. Hmpf.
To be fair the music from truck 1 was a lot better Tuesday after lunch. We got a session of new songs that almost made me pass out by the gate of Tanty Eurls police compound (the barracks). Bunji's "Hard Fete" is not made to be pulled up so many times then followed by Skinny x Nailah's "Come Home" straight into Machel x Destra's "Shake the Place"....I mean it have older people with heart conditions in the band dawg.
Ladies, watch meh, when allyuh walking with those big backpacks make sure to turn sideways and apologize often. I can't tell you how many backpacks I almost grab and hit a crocodile death roll because allyuh chupid feathers in people mouth.
The band made its way through St James and onto Mucurapo Road. We decided to proceed to the las lap venue at Nelson Mandela Park (hard luck King George). Pro-tip: never follow the band all the way to any venue unless you don't want to eat or enjoy cramming like yuh trying to get into Machel concert (what, too soon??).
Las lap is one of the highlights of Carnival Tuesday. Tribe and all its affiliate bands gather into a fenced-in cornucopia of revelry. Although, most of the time is spent chasing down moving snack vans like a zombie hoard and trying to figure out which one is giving out pizza. Kes found the pizza truck and was good munching down in the back.
By around 8:00 pm most of my people had enough and bounced. I of course am Mr Overdo so I wanted to go right down till I lie down. Thankfully the wife organized me with a ride back to the car and even had a Royal Castle fish sandwich combo waiting. Dat is woman!
All in all Bliss Carnival was almost excellent...almost. The costumes were pure rubbish and the DJs dragged the flag. However, as Ding Dong say, all yuh need for a good fete is rum and woman and Bliss had both in abundance. It had plenty men with abs if you're into that sort of thing. I could have abs too inno, but I like alcohol.
The plan was to retire from mas after this Carnival but I may have to give Bliss a chance to redeem themselves next year. A good start would be a free costume but I'm not one to beg.....unless begging works.
TANA...out!