Hollywood Glam

Last night was my employer's end of year function at Drew Manor in Santa Cruz. Now I have to be very careful with this review as I need my wuk but at the same time I hadda talk the things them. I ain’t calling no names but if you want to Live Easy…

The theme was red carpet chic and the people did not disappoint. The ladies came out in evening gowns worthy of a Miss Santa Cruz pageant. The fellas came out dressed in jackets and three-piece suits like they were in family court for not paying maintenance. I myself wore an outfit that looked like I was going by Frankie's on the Avenue to lime but once I put on my blazer it looked like I was going by Frankie's but feeling fancy.

Once I entered I noticed the decor was well done and there were lots of food options. However, food was not my priority as a little birdy told me there were shenanigans at play regarding the drinks, particularly the gin. I refused to believe the rumors but you could imagine my shock, horror and then anger when it turned out to be true. Imagine the organizers thought it made sense to buy 2 bottles of gin, about 40 bottles of White Oak, 40 bottles of Johnny Walker and the worst vodka in the world, Absolut.

Worse yet they chose the 4th best gin available locally as the go-to for the two bottles they procured. Those bottles lasted shorter than a Wadicks or a JW and Blaze greatest hits album. To make worse even “worserer”, they bought zero tonic water. So imagine your theme is "Hollywood Glam" but you gave people "Port of Spain rum shop" drink options. If the idea was to make sure people didn't drink too much so they could reach home safely then they failed miserably. All they did was ensured people mixed their alcohol by switching between whatever was left of the gin, scotch, rum, vodka, beer etc.

However, the music was on point for the most part. The DJ had the party pumping from the start and the emcee (not the Samuel Jackson MC eh, though it had a few of them in the crowd) Sonny Bling didn't over talk it like a certain female DJ who is synonymous with this particular venue. The one black mark on the DJ scorecard was the fact we (actually me) had to beg to hear some Vybz Kartel. I didn't even want a "Romping Shop" or a "Go-Go Wine" or a "Dumpa Truck" inno, I woulda be happy with a lil "Gal ah spin dem waist like rims, man a wave dem hand...ah ah awoah". Instead what we actually got was 4 of the most corporate Kartel available despite Trinibad and 90s skettel dancehall music playing in abundance.

Farmer Nappy was the first of the two performances. Say what you want about Nappy and his ras but the man knows how to command a stage. I love Nappy's offerings for Carnival 2025, I just can't get over how angry his eyebrows make him look even when he's smiling.

When Nadia hit the stage people ran to the front screaming and rendering their garments (don't judge me).  Nadia mash up the place as usual and at one point our eyes made four for about 3 milliseconds and I swear she gimme a smile (what? I was drinking mediocre gin followed by the Absolut WORST vodka).

Nadie said her new name is “Coffee” because, as one of her 2025 songs says, she keeps him up all night long. Actually coffee at night puts me to sleep and aggrevates my acid reflux so for me she will remain Nadie aka "dark chocolate goodness".

I bounced up an avid Tana's Log reader who was surprised to see me and asked if I was a specially invited guest. I replied, to her delight, "no miss lady, I am gainfully employed at this establishment". She was less enthusiastic when she realized my references to d wife wasn't just the use of  "poetic license".

The DJ continued entertaining the crowd for a full hour beyond the scheduled end time. By that point a few people looked like they had way too much fun. There was one dude standing in front of the stage doing his best "come hither" dancer-boy moves and he may have been successful too eh…were it not for his zipper being down and the shop open for business. Thankfully all of him remained safely concealed. There was another dude with his shirt completely open showing a very well maintained beer belly, starting under his neck.

The young people and those people who “bed wet” decided to take the festivities to the Avenue to create an after party at Tipsy Ibis. I skipped that, not because I'm old, was completely sober and was tired, no it was because I had an early start the next morning to collect Fete With The Saints tickets (alumni distribution, the public own ain’t start yet so doh panic).

Despite the drinks miscalculation and the Kartel depravation the party was very enjoyable. Most of the people ditched the corporate decorum and were full of vibes. Plenty of the ladies ditched their heels and wedges and went full ten commandments aka Mannie Dookie on the people pavers. Yuh know once the shoes come off it’s on like Donkey Kong. There were awards for the best dressed male and female, most shiny outfit male and female and person with the overall most vibes. I can’t wait for the Carnival 2025 cooler fete. That one we could invite outside people so make sure allyuh link an agent for a policy and some tickets.

TANA