Fete Nation
Allyuh...watch me..last night we went to Fete Nation cooler fete on Fatima grounds and I real upset right now. From the time we arrived it was clear this fete was going to be problems. Fete Nation is a collaboration among Fatima, CIC and St Francois school associations and yuh know what, two out of three ain't bad. I love to see CIC work with them girl schools.
The venue was an intimate section of Fatima grounds with parking on the grounds and as well at Mucurapo East and West. The size of the venue was just right for the amount of people, which was a lot. I'm upset because fetes like this on the grounds is exactly why it seems like Fatima deliberately chooses to suffer people inside the school for the all-inclusive out of spite and wickedness.
Fete Nation is a no frills, fru-fru free, no cookies just books, party with just a stage, a bar, a couple food trucks, toilets and space to bendover and meet yuh future child fadda. There was none of the unnecessary amenities that kill fete vibes like massage, haircut, makeup, tax planning or psychiatric counseling (though I know some people there who coulda do with that). It was just you, yuh cooler, yuh crew and your intimate thoughts.
I knew Fete Nation would be problems when my boy, let's call him "Benny", kept threatening to give me tequila shots whenever he saw me and by tequila he meant Johnny, Hennessy, Vodka and Puncheon. Good thing I on vacation inno because I mighta be hugging up the porcelain throne this morning in the office.
Fete Nation had a great lineup of performers. The first was Anika Berry something or the other. Listen, my late mother taught me if I have nothing good to say then say nothing but jah....sorry mommy, but she was terrible.
Jadel came on next with she thick sexy self. Hear nah, I find she could just come on stage and wine, maybe on a pole or something, and go off. Since Army Fete she complaining about a dislocated toe but came out in a tall boots with straps which she struggled to remove. I ain't know why she ain't just come out in a Crocs to begin with.
When Yung Bredda hit the stage people were properly sauced....by people I mean me, I was sauced. The gin was definitely ginning. The Bredda decided he wanted to do his best Iwer George impression and went down into the crowd and caused pandemonium. Then the boss brought on the man who sing the theme song for all them gal with BBL who feel people doh know they bamsee was made in a lab. That bamsee so big I could see it from the front....of the fete...while you outside in the car park.
It was at this point the fete demon Benny found us and took us back stage to make good on his shots threats. I don't know if it was luck or devine intervention but they had no tequila and we had to settle for vodka shots....which was only a small reprieve. I think it was after the second round of shots that my face went numb.
The rest of the artiste lineup was Shal Marshall, Waddicks, Mical Teja, Blaka Dan, Full Blown, GBM and the boss Bunji Garlin. Allyuh, thanks to Benny I found myself on stage for some of the performances and ended up standing next to Fay-Ann and was completely star struck. The first thing I realized was that it is a good thing I have my new mantra of "I love Bunji, Bunji love Fay-Ann, so I love Fay-Ann" because if this woman decide to beat me up I have no chance.
Hear nah...last night I saw a purple unicorn. Bunji Garlin performed by himself. Yes garcon, by...him...self. Even when Fay-Ann big songs came on she just stood there next to me vibesing and listening. During one of Bunji songs she turned and said "I wrote this song" and I was like "waaay...how she talking in my direction, you mean I'm not invisible?" I took a video and made sure to ask her if I could share it because yuh know nah....she legs stronger than me.
It was from the vantage point of the stage I could see the level of vibes in Fete Nation. The crowd looked like a Brass Festival crowd minus the men getting "beat up" in the back and gyal getting "beat out" on the side by the fence. Even Bunji commented and said this fete had the most vibes, although I feel he probably said that to other fetes like how red man like me does tell every gyal them is the sweetest.
All in all Fete Nation was a legit banger of a fete. Bunji does say he not going no small fete and he make no apologies but Fete Nation is a small, hard fete with the most vibes. Objectively Fete Nation scored an impressive "4.1/5 - Excellent" on the TL Fete Ranking but...I was on stage with Garlin and Fay-Ann so....I might have to put my thumb on the scales and put it at the top of the list or place it in it's own category. I will share some of the videos I managed to take before things went all blurry on me.
TANA